You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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