i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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