Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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