So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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