Can Purell be used as lube?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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