If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
