my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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