We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
