I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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