Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
