508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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