Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
