Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
