Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
