worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
