he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
