What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
