Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
