only if we run a train.
done.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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