I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
