I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize