i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
