I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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