THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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