I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
