I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
