eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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