Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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