She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize