Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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