2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry about my life...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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