she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
