Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We named our party play list daddy issues
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
