Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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