Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
