This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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