I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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