I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
