Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
