I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let's get the cat blown out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
