just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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