We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize