why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
