Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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