Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
