just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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