Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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