its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
