16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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