ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i will never coherently bang her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
