He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
