You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
