My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize