Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
