Three words: puerto rican gang bang
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
