420 ftw
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
