i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
