Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize