she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
