I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
