walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize