I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
