you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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