I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
