You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
