Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
