Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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