The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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