and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
